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So.. For the past half hour Iapos;ve been reading the plight of a girl in my choir class on facebook. She writes notes and being the stalker tool facebook is, its easy to see if sheapos;s post one or not. Now, this girl I am not really friends with. She seems nice enough but she and I donapos;t really talk. Iapos;m not sure why but I donapos;t take any notice of it.

I am ashamed to say that the couple of times before I read her blog I jeered at her desperate hope to have a boyfriend. This girl, to say the least, is larger than life and people would describe her as homely. My first thought was, apos;lose some weight and then maybe youapos;ll get a boyfriend.apos;

However, now that I spent the last half hour going through her blogs and reading her thoughts over a period of time, I have to say that I admire her and she has it tougher than I do. Though I think I donapos;t measure up to the standard of beauty society has pinned on women today, I have a boyfriend that thinks Iapos;m the most beautiful woman in the world. He thinks Iapos;m the most beautiful woman in the world and treats me as a person, not as an object. This girl never had a boy tell her that she was pretty and being overweight is the greatest taboo in standardized beauty today. She wakes up to people everyday ignoring her and dismissing her as apos;that fat girl.apos; As no one and as nothing because she isnapos;t skinny and doesnapos;t wear tons of makeup.

Through her blogs, she fights with terrible low self-esteem and the constant rejection of boys. She also fights it with her faith and beliefs in God. Now, I am never a fan of those who are born-agains and have evangelist qualities to their worship. I personally compare them to rapid attack dogs that will mention Jesus every chance they get, as well as believe that you have to think about Jesus 24/7. However, she openly expresses her pains and grievances and attempts to remedy them with the power of Christ. Thatapos;s not weak, thatapos;s admirable. Sometimes what makes people feel better is something that other people deem worthless or a waste of time.

Though many believe that organized religion is a bad thing, I believe that religion, ultimately faith, gives us hope for the future. I read her blogs over a period of 2 years (they were 4 facebook pages) and of course there is development of relying on Jesus for comfort and support and even in some cases she departed from her dependence on Jesus to keep her going, but like all things, it came around full circle again to rely on faith to give you hope.

As a Christian Quaker, I daresay that reading her blogs makes me less embarrassed to say that I believe. I never was embarrassed to begin with but I never wanted to be in the conversation of talking about my beliefs and religion. It has only been easier since Iapos;ve become Quaker but even then explaining meeting for worship unnerves me. However, using faith during a difficult time to get you through isnapos;t bad. Religion, no matter what it is, gives people hope and guidance. Yes, like every other thing in the world, Religion has its bad people and bad ideas but... Look around. How many organizations that are helping poor people and children are religious? How many of them are secular? What about soup kitchens and charity stores?

Yep. All religion based.

Also reading her notes made me think about the kind of person I was. Snickering at someone is terrible. Laughing at someone because of the way they look is terrible. Everyone is Godapos;s children and if you had a deformity or was overweight (apparently this girl had medical problems that induced her obesity) would you want people to laugh at you?

No.

There is always a story behind a person. Something that someone said during a meeting in London that is a fundamental thought of Quakerism is, apos;Always assume that you misunderstood.apos; That stuck with me because... You donapos;t know and there is little that people actually know. If I hadnapos;t taken the time to read that girlapos;s blogs.. I would have never known and as an effect, not made this blog of reflection.

Even if you donapos;t believe, be respectful and kind. Kindness goes a long way.

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