foi deus

Oy. I feel so old. I havenapos;t been posting here in a few days because of back pain. It feels like spasms or cramps any time I move or twist in certain ways, so itapos;s very fucking awkward. I really hope itapos;s just something simple, that can go away on its own or that has a simple solution if it stays long enough for me to go to the doctor to get rid of it..

In the meantime, Iapos;m still going to go to work because I canapos;t afford to be absent any more. I also havenapos;t made any proper arrangements for looking at houses or apartments later this week.. Iapos;m letting everything pile up all at once. D
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chalk it nicely up

His flight came in in the morning and the girl was at school.� I parked my jeep at the airport and walked to the exit where I met him.� I am wearing my favorite blue dress with gold accents and a pair of sandals.� My hair has recently been straightened and the wind is blowing it around my head.� My heart is racing and the butterflies in my stomach are going crazy.� I see him step onto the escalator and he sees me.� His smile is one I remember well and have missed all these years.� I can see that if there were not many people on the escalator in front of him he would have run down to meet me.� He gets to the bottom and slowly walks to me.� He stops in front of me and drops his bag at our feet, he stands there for a second and I reach out and press my fingertips to his chest.� I donapos;t believe he is real.� He cups my face in his hands and lightly presses his lips to mine.� A tear slips and I gently put my arms around him and hold him close.� After a minute or two I let him go, pick up his bag and begin walking to the car.� He asks me what I�have planned for the day and I tell him that we have 6 hours before my girl gets out of school and that I have someplace I want him to see.� I am wearing my swimsuit and a lightweight dress and ask him if his swim shorts are easy to get to.� He says they are and weapos;re off.� I head to this beautiful place I want him to see we park in the lot and its about a 15 minute hike to where we are going.� We can hear the waterfall from a way away.� We are making small talk and itapos;s like old times.� The waterfall is beautiful and the sun is shining.� No one else is there and I strip off my dress and shoes as I run to the water.� Itapos;s ice cold and I come up squealing� He runs in after me and jumps in making a huge splash.� He somes up shaking his head and splashing water on me.� We are both laughing.� He swims over to me and takes me in his arms and smiles down at me, kisses my forehead and swims over to the falls.� He waves me over and I swim to him, looking at him makes my heart swell.� He climbs onto the rocks and goes behind the falls and I climb out and follow him.� Itapos;s even colder behind the falls and he rubs my arms and cups my face again and kisses me.� He pulls me to his chest and wraps his arms around me, I can hear his heart beating.� Looking into my eyes he tells me "I donapos;t think I can control myself much longer"� He pushes me back to the rocks, lifting my leg and wrapping it around his hips.� Pushing against me I�can feel him hot and hard.� He reaches back and unties my suit, letting it drop to the ground kissing my neck and working his way down to my nipples.� They are hard as the rock I�am pressed against and his hot mouth against it drives me wild.� I reach down and rub him through his shorts.� I push him away and catch my breath and turn the tables on him and push him against the rocks and pull down his shorts and take him into my mouth he runs his hands through my hair with has curled with the water.� He throws his head back and moans "god itapos;s been so long"� He pulls me up and kisses me, wraps my legs around his waist and plunges into me.� The cry of extacy that escapes my lips is long and loud.� I kiss his lips and bite his neck raking my nails across his back.� I�just hold on.� He looks into my eyes� and kisses me deeply and I cum.� My orgasm triggers his and we ride the wave together.� he holds me to him and presses kisses to my neck and tells me how much he has missed me.� I tell him my life was not complete without him in it.

dallas engine positioning search, chalk it nicely up.

autoshops

So I realized that I havenapos;t updated the world with my life lately. I think the world needs these updates sometimes.

First, Iapos;ve finally got moved out of my old place into my new place with Jamie. Things couldnapos;t be better. Jamie really is one of the best roommates a person could have. Sheapos;s been great, and so far weapos;ve been getting along swimmingly. The place is awesome, Jamie just put up shelves for my DVDs so theyapos;re displayed lovingly in the room. Weapos;re working on getting bookends, and we went to the antique fair and found some bronzed baby shoe bookends. I love the eclecticness of the decor.

Second, I am indeed dating someone new. Itapos;s been about two months now, and Tom is wonderful and amazing. He lives in the city, so Iapos;ve been spending a good deal of time up there. He has the best group of friends, and itapos;s always funny that when we end up going out Iapos;m usually the only American around. Iapos;m extremely glad that I met him, and I hope that things continue to work as well as they have been We have a trip planned to Phoenix for Thanksgiving, and heapos;s coming to Alaska for Christmas. Iapos;m hoping to be able to visit London with him sometime next year.

Third, school is going well. Iapos;m making progress toward figuring out out to classify proteins based on my data. Iapos;ve used kmeans clustering for some of it, and I got decent results, but I really think Iapos;m going to need to use Gaussian Mixtures to characterize it better. I also think that instead of just using the two features that I started with, I could add in other features like the phi and psi torsion angles to get a better separation between some of the harder clusters to discern.

Fourth, Jamie, Mindy, and I have been embarking on a sushi tour of Santa Cruz. Santa Cruz is full of sushi restaurants, and since Mindy is moving from Santa Cruz next month, we decided to try a different one every week. First it was I Love Sushi, then Pink Godzilla and Benten. This week is Takara then Paradise Sushi. Thereapos;s not much time after that, so weapos;ll have to choose one more good one, then maybe Jamie and I will continue on without her. Or switch to a Thai tour. Iapos;m not sure.

Thatapos;s about it. Lifeapos;s been good, but I wish I had more time for more of my friends. Iapos;m hoping that Iapos;ll be able to start squeezing more in soon

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contemporary dining round table

If we come across as slightly less organized this week than usual, itapos;s because we missed our usual Sunday Team Atrox meeting. To review:

Leslie and Emory were in San Francisco, attending a Beastlie-featuring art opening and scouring pumpkin patches...





... While Paul and I were in Vegas canvassing for Senator Obama...



... And Matt continued to be married and living in Kansas City...



... Leaving Jeff all alone in L.A. By himself...


... Probably drunk.

Weapos;ll get our priorities back in order next weekend, I promise.

-Frank

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fructose content in food

So.. For the past half hour Iapos;ve been reading the plight of a girl in my choir class on facebook. She writes notes and being the stalker tool facebook is, its easy to see if sheapos;s post one or not. Now, this girl I am not really friends with. She seems nice enough but she and I donapos;t really talk. Iapos;m not sure why but I donapos;t take any notice of it.

I am ashamed to say that the couple of times before I read her blog I jeered at her desperate hope to have a boyfriend. This girl, to say the least, is larger than life and people would describe her as homely. My first thought was, apos;lose some weight and then maybe youapos;ll get a boyfriend.apos;

However, now that I spent the last half hour going through her blogs and reading her thoughts over a period of time, I have to say that I admire her and she has it tougher than I do. Though I think I donapos;t measure up to the standard of beauty society has pinned on women today, I have a boyfriend that thinks Iapos;m the most beautiful woman in the world. He thinks Iapos;m the most beautiful woman in the world and treats me as a person, not as an object. This girl never had a boy tell her that she was pretty and being overweight is the greatest taboo in standardized beauty today. She wakes up to people everyday ignoring her and dismissing her as apos;that fat girl.apos; As no one and as nothing because she isnapos;t skinny and doesnapos;t wear tons of makeup.

Through her blogs, she fights with terrible low self-esteem and the constant rejection of boys. She also fights it with her faith and beliefs in God. Now, I am never a fan of those who are born-agains and have evangelist qualities to their worship. I personally compare them to rapid attack dogs that will mention Jesus every chance they get, as well as believe that you have to think about Jesus 24/7. However, she openly expresses her pains and grievances and attempts to remedy them with the power of Christ. Thatapos;s not weak, thatapos;s admirable. Sometimes what makes people feel better is something that other people deem worthless or a waste of time.

Though many believe that organized religion is a bad thing, I believe that religion, ultimately faith, gives us hope for the future. I read her blogs over a period of 2 years (they were 4 facebook pages) and of course there is development of relying on Jesus for comfort and support and even in some cases she departed from her dependence on Jesus to keep her going, but like all things, it came around full circle again to rely on faith to give you hope.

As a Christian Quaker, I daresay that reading her blogs makes me less embarrassed to say that I believe. I never was embarrassed to begin with but I never wanted to be in the conversation of talking about my beliefs and religion. It has only been easier since Iapos;ve become Quaker but even then explaining meeting for worship unnerves me. However, using faith during a difficult time to get you through isnapos;t bad. Religion, no matter what it is, gives people hope and guidance. Yes, like every other thing in the world, Religion has its bad people and bad ideas but... Look around. How many organizations that are helping poor people and children are religious? How many of them are secular? What about soup kitchens and charity stores?

Yep. All religion based.

Also reading her notes made me think about the kind of person I was. Snickering at someone is terrible. Laughing at someone because of the way they look is terrible. Everyone is Godapos;s children and if you had a deformity or was overweight (apparently this girl had medical problems that induced her obesity) would you want people to laugh at you?

No.

There is always a story behind a person. Something that someone said during a meeting in London that is a fundamental thought of Quakerism is, apos;Always assume that you misunderstood.apos; That stuck with me because... You donapos;t know and there is little that people actually know. If I hadnapos;t taken the time to read that girlapos;s blogs.. I would have never known and as an effect, not made this blog of reflection.

Even if you donapos;t believe, be respectful and kind. Kindness goes a long way.

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biztouch2

Iapos;m increasingly aware of my brianapos;s functions.
I used to not think about my brain.
Just like I donapos;t think about my lungs.
Bringing dirty air in,
pushing dirty air out.

But Iapos;ve got a�lazy brain
that sucks information in
keeps it in�there
and then the scariest thing happens...
itapos;s lost forever and becomes a part of me.

Where do I begin and where does all of this
biased
shit
irrelevant information end?

Right....
so Iapos;m a victim of structural violence.
Iapos;m the oppressed in an oppresive
relationship
between the mass media, government, popular culture
congomerate-moster
and myself.
My brain,
as�it passively absorbs.


Iapos;ve never felt like iapos;m my brain.
My brain is just the motor that keeps this piece of junk moving
and breathing.

Iapos;ve got a lazy brain.
Weapos;ve all got one lazy
porous
spongy brain.

Iapos;m gonna start telling my brain whoapos;s boss
Iapos;m kinda tired of being
complacent about it.





biztouch2, biztouch3, biztracker.

climate dryas in precipitation record younger

There was a study done a few years ago that cats lacked a receptor for tasting sweet things. Someone should tell our furballs that as when given a choice between mince and ice cream, theyapos;ll go for the ice cream. The only explanations I can come up with are that our cats have;

a) evolved and developed a sweet receptor,
b) the scientists are wrong, or,
c) our cats are just not normal

And as Iapos;m sitting here watching the furballs squabbling over the leftover icecream, Iapos;m leaning towards c...

And yes, Iapos;m well aware that cats really shouldnapos;t be given ice cream...or the icing off cakes. But itapos;s not easy resisting those little furry faces with their big imploring eyes turned on you.
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